Last day of school before Christmas
break. Concert is wrapped up, class party's been had, time to go
home and kick back at the end of a long year. One stop to get gas
and I'd be “free” for two weeks.
I stop at the gas station three miles
from my school and half an hour from home to fuel up. Since I'm an
intelligent and independent woman, I proceed to fill up my own gas
tank. As I stand there beside my car in the icy wind, an
equally icy thought strikes me – I had taken my wallet out of my
purse the night before to do some online shopping... I may not have
followed through on my plan to return it to my purse this morning. I
quickly jump back in my car, dumping the contents of my purse on the
seat beside me, rifling through old receipts and tissues, notebooks
and hairbrushes – but no wallet. I jump back out and stop the
pump. Now what?
I head inside to tell the attendant
about my predicament. What to do? She is very kind and
understanding and brings me to the manager. While I wait for him to
get off the phone, I contemplate different ways I could pay. There
is no way I want to drive all the way home for my wallet and come
back to pay – that would be a whole hour of my Christmas break
wasted on a foolish memory lapse. Maybe I could remember my credit
card number? Maybe I could call my husband to run home and phone me
back with my credit card number, or he could give me his?
I manage to remember of my credit card
number but I am uncertain about the last four digits. A different
attendant tries my number but it is rejected. I call Jeff to get him
to run home to get my wallet and tell me what my credit card number
is. I move my car out of the way by the pumps, then come in and drum
my fingers on the table, waiting for him to call. Turns out I had
remembered my number correctly, so why hadn't it worked? I try to
keep panic at bay. Oh hey, guess what! Maybe they would be okay
with my leaving to go into town to get money from our credit union
branch? The first attendant suggests we try my credit card number
one more time and then if that doesn't work I can go get some cash.
To my great relief, it works! By this time, I have spent half an
hour in the gas station and I still only have $17 of gas in my tank.
Regardless, I jump back in my car and head home, even more grateful
and eager to get going on my holidays.
As soon as I get home, I return my
wallet to its rightful place in my purse where I notice the envelope
of cash my car-pooling colleague had given me that very morning
nestled comfortably among the the receipts and tissues and
hairbrushes. I could have just paid cash and gotten out of there in
three minutes!
All that unnecessary drama! What a
royal waste of time!
So, is there any redeeming value to
this story?
I've been thinking a lot about this
incident over the past few weeks. Perhaps this experience is a
little picture of how I tend to live my life. I come across a new
challenge, an unexpected difficulty, and I start to get a little
panicky because I feel like I have insufficient resources to tackle
the situation. I need to solve the problem and I'm afraid I
don't have the where-with-all, but ought to. Meanwhile, I
have within my grasp all the vast resources of a great and loving
God. With a scarcity mentality, I end up wasting valuable time mired in unnecessary stress,
scrambling about, relying my own measly solutions and miss the provisions
at my disposal. Instead, I need to calm down, pay attention, and
shift my focus away from myself and my weakness and towards my
all-powerful God who owns the wealth of the universe. He has never
failed me yet, so why am I so quick to get flustered and yet so slow
to trust?
And my God will meet
all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:13
Now to Him who is able
to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think,
according to the power
that works in us,
to Him be glory in the
church by Christ Jesus to all generations,
forever and ever.
Amen.
Ephesians 3: 20 - 21
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