Scum

Recently, we were at a family gathering where my boys learned a new card game from their older second cousins. Well, not a new game exactly since it's the same card game I learned to play in high school, but new to them and with a different name. The game, called Scum, is fairly simple with the basic premise that a person always needs to play a card that is at least one better or higher than the card the previous person played. The goal is to collect as many cards as possible and you do that by being the last person able to play a higher card. Here's the catch: a two, which is usually the lowest card, or the rare annoying joker, will trump the highest card and get to keep the stack of cards.

 

I was thinking about that game yesterday when it felt like that game played out in reality, with words instead of cards. I had been given many “cards” of compliments and encouragement about a particular thing, stacking up the deck. Then yesterday, one person muttered a discouraging, derogatory comment under his breath, but with the intention to be heard, and it felt to me like that joker with his low “two” trumped the whole stack. His one nasty comment, which was probably true for him, felt like a personal affront and wiped out the truth of all the previous positive comments.

So while I sit here and lick my wounds for a bit, the deeper, more wise side of me can also appreciate this experience as a good reminder to guard what comes out of my own mouth. To be encouraging, to be honest, to offer criticism in a helpful way rather than in biting comments muttered under my breath, to keep in mind the unfortunate weight of a “low card.”

A soothing tongue is a tree of life,

but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 15:4

The tongue has the power of life and death,

and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21

Gracious words are a honeycomb,

sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

Getting Started on Getting Changed

It's Saturday morning, late. We all had a chance to sleep in. Fresh saskatoon muffins for breakfast. Sun streaming in the window.

My husband announces that in this upcoming week, his one week in between jobs, he is planning to work on putting up trim in our upstairs. We did some major renovations upstairs awhile back and now he has a few days to work on those final details that seem like they shouldn't take long but generally take as long as the whole rest of the project.

The question was whose bedroom he should tackle first. He asked the kids if anyone wanted their room to be done first or if we should pick straws to see who would go first. My middle son, who half the time is jumping up from the table anyway, jumped up from the table and shouted, “Me, me! I do! Do my room first!”

Well, my husband continued, whoever's room was going to be first would have to clean up their room today – clean and get their furniture ready to move out of their room, that clean.

“Oh,” said my son, without a moment's hesitation, “then let's pick straws.”

He promptly went and selected a purple straw and cut it up into varying lengths and a draw was made. The long straw was drawn by his older brother meaning his room was going to be first and the other kids subsequently in their proper birth order. And then my middle son was upset. “But I wanted to go first. I said I wanted to go first.” He was not very pleased with his older brother.

The whole scenario was rather humorous to the onlooker, not so much for my son.

I only wish I couldn't relate so well. Some of the time, I am seriously confused about what I really want in my life. Is this what I really want or is this something I think I should want, or worse, what I think that others think that I should want? Other times, I know what I want, but am so daunted by what is involved to make that thing happen, or I am scared by the change that will be inflicted on my life, that I back away from the very thing I want, finding it easier to stay in the disarray that I'm familiar with. And then I end up resenting another person who has taken the course I wish I could take.

Maybe I can take some comfort in a similar parallel to my son's experience. His room will get trimmed out, he'll get a closet door, it will all happen, and he will have a little extra time to make the necessary adjustments. I do believe that good comes out of everything in life and at a time when we're prepared for it, if we're paying attention. So maybe my son and I should go collect some boxes and a broom and get started.

In their hearts humans plan their course,

but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9