Purple Tights

I had an interesting experience with my daughter the other day. At five years old, she can sometimes tend toward the melodramatic in times of “crisis”. I was putting laundry away in her dresser while she was changing her clothes. She couldn't find her purple tights that she always wore with this skirt among all the stuffies and clothes and little-girl detritus scattered about on the bedroom floor and she quickly deteriorated from “looking” to frustration.

      “What will I do?” she wailed loudly, meaning, I suppose, how could she possibly conceive of wearing the skirt without the tights.

      “That's a good question,” I said. “Why don't you answer it?”

      “But Mommy,” she roared, adding some foot stamping for emphasis and dramatic effect, “I don't know where they are!”

      “I know,” I said. “But you had a good question.  Do you remember what it was?”

      The foot stamping and roaring calmed down as she pondered this. Finally, she answered, “No.”

      I reminded her what her question was and asked if she could answer her own question. It was quiet in the room for awhile and then in a subdued and polite voice she said, “Mommy, could you help me find them please?” Which of course I did.

Along the way, various people have shared some of their personal stories with me. I always feel honored when this happens and what strikes me is how often it is the “negative” stories, the challenges and difficulties, the times of crisis, that have most shaped these people, developed their character, made them into the gracious people they are. It is encounters with hard things that give people that beautiful authenticity, wisdom and empathy that can be achieved in no other way.

And yet, after millenia of evidence that difficult experiences make us into better people, we still resist them. We certainly don't seem inclined to invite these things into our lives. As a race, we still tend to prefer comfort to character. Is there no way to have comfort and character?

Perhaps, like my daughter, if I can learn to ask the right question in a crisis and am patient and still long enough to hear an answer, I can achieve character and those lovely purple tights I need to find RIGHT NOW! Or if not exactly those particular tights, maybe something better or more valuable.

              “Our soul waits for the Lord;

                    He is our help and shield.”

               Psalm 33:20