A number of years ago, we moved to a new community and
were renting a small farmyard south of town. We had been there
several months when winter slowly melted into spring and a bit of a
rodent problem became apparent in the house. We decided we'd like to
have a cat around the place, partly for the mice, but also because,
really, how can you live in the country without having animals about
the place?
Our neighbour down the road, a bachelor, decided he'd
like to help us out. He selected his favorite barn cat and brought
it over to our place in his old yellow pick-up truck one afternoon.
We were humbled by his kindness; the cat, not so much. This
soon-to-be-mother cat was not so impressed about having been taken
from her nice, cozy barn and being plopped in a cold garage, pan of
water and food notwithstanding. Needless to say, she was not
planning on sticking around too long.
I was worried that she would try to make her way back to
her home across the fields. I was worried that our inability to
retain the cat would look like ingratitude to our neighbour. I was
worried that the cat would meet her death at the paws of a coyote or
badger along the way.
Fortunately, I was able to locate her hiding in the
shelter-belt behind our house. I imagine the cat figured she had
everything she needed right there – the rodents, of course, dry
grass to lie in, water in the creek that ran between the shelter-belt
and the field – and no strangers to contend with. I, on the other
hand, knew I wanted a cat around not just to take care of the mice,
but to pet and play with, something for my kids to love. I knew that
the grass was dry now, but it would rain, and I could provide a nice
warm box in which to have her kittens, out of the weather. I knew
that the creek was seasonal and in a couple months it would dry up
and water would be scarce for the cat, but I could provide it.
I was pretty motivated to make friends with the cat. I
could get close to her but as soon as I would make movement towards
her, she would dart away or scramble up a tree. I tried this
approach for several days before I came across a bit of wisdom I
hadn't heard before. To get a cat to warm up to you, you have to
stand quietly and wait for the cat to come to you; even when the cat
is curious enough to rub against your leg, you need to move extremely
slowly so as not to startle it. This is may be common knowledge, but
I had never had to entice a cat to be my friend before. All the cats
I had know had been kittens that had grown into cats to produce more
kittens – they were already tame and familiar.
So, armed with this new knowledge and a pan of food, I
headed out to the shelter-belt to find my “friend”. I found the
cat, crouched down, and waited. And amazingly, it worked. The cat
noticed me, watched me suspiciously for awhile, and then cautiously
came towards me, even rubbing my leg. I got excited and tried to pet
her and off she went. So, I moved into her general area and started
the process again, and again. Eventually, she did feel comfortable
enough to come hang out in our garage and eat our food and drink our
water. She remained rather skittish, but her kittens were lovely
fluffy things that grew up used to our interactions.
I've thought a lot about this memory this week as I've
been reading the book, Grace for the Good Girl, by Emily P.
Freeman. She talks about masks, like self-sufficiency, that “good”
people hide behind, and how striving to “be good” looks admirable, but
is really a demonstration of fear and lack of faith in the grace of
God. I know about this.
I wonder how often I don't act like that cat, struggling
to rely on myself, thinking I have everything I need – until the
creek dries up, distrusting the ease and freedom of being completely
provided for. And God knows my nature: God doesn't chase me down with shouts and sticks or try to round me up with a lasso. Instead, God comes along, moves into my general area,
holds out the pan brimming over with blessings and waits for me to
notice, waits for me to come, waits for me to enjoy the freedom and
life God has to offer. This is Immanuel, God with us, God moving
toward us and patiently waiting for us to notice, to come, to belong.
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said
through the prophet:
“A virgin will be with child and will give birth to
a son,
and they will call him Immanuel” - which means “God
with us.”
Matthew 1:22-23
Grace for the Good Girl: I have found this book particularly insightful. I am one of those people who does not have headline-making evil deeds to their name, but I do sometimes find my life being ruled by fear and lack of trust, which is equally sinful. This book has opened my eyes in new ways to both my need for grace and the grace available to me through Christ. I would highly recommend this book.
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